For the first time in I don’t know how long, I have drive and a fire in my belly.
I have the desire to move.
I have the desire to eat healthy.
I have the desire to change my life.
I have the desire to make the changes I started in July and got derailed from in December.
I was making great progress this week.
For the 1 day.
And then I hit my head.
Do you know how much that sucks? How much it leaves me frustrated?
I can’t move much without my head hurting.
I can’t do much without my head hurting.
I’ve typed 103 words, saved the picture down there to my computer and my head hurts.
I need to sleep.
I’ll go to sleep soon.
But for now – I need to talk about how frustrated I am. How I was looking forward to derby, derby and more derby. How I was planning on doing the 3 day home workout from 1FW. How I was following the food lifestyle.
How I was changing my life.
And then I hit my freaking head.
And couldn’t walk around much.
I had to get kids off to school – that took all my energy and there was none left for me.
I had to get kids home from school – that took more energy.
I was helping around the house – walking that much was causing headaches.
And there was no energy or time left for me.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t exercise. I can’t go to roller derby practices.
Planning a healthy meal was beyond my brain comprehension.
COOKING a healthy meal took more energy than grabbing a piece of fruit or a bowl of cereal.
And now I’m 4 days past the head injury – and I’m still frustrated and driven to move, eat and make changes.
I can only control what I can control.
I can’t control how fast my brain heals.
I can’t control how much time I can spend upright.
I can’t control how loud the kids are going to be.
But I can control what I put in my mouth.
I can control what I eat, drink and how clean it is.
For the first 3 months of my journey – I lost weight, hell I won a challenge WITHOUT EXERCISE!!
I lost 35+ lbs just by changing what I put in my mouth. What I drank. What I ate.
I can do it again.
I may not be able to skate or lift or run. But I can choose what to eat. I can choose water over coffee. I can choose vegetables over cookies. I can make a smoothie while fixing kids lunches.
I have things I can control. And I will.
Coach Michelle challenged us Questies to do a sticky challenge.
Write down the following:
1. Your #1 reason for joining.
2. Number of years you’ve wanted to get fit and strong.
3. Your 12 week goal.
Take a picture and post it in our private group.
Yeah – y’all know me better than that by now – it’s going in my blog (as well as the private group!)
I am up for my next review in May. In May, I have boot camp that I want to attend for roller derby and I want to be strong on my skates.
I cheated and weighed myself the other day – I’m only 20lbs from that goal.
When I did a compliance challenge last fall – I lost 8 lbs just by changing what I ate.
In. A. Week.
Fuck this shit. I can do this with my eyes closed… at least until I need to measure my food
I have a 12 week goal. I’m also working on this weeks food challenge of the least amount of sugar eaten. That’s a good one for me – I *always* go over in my sugar.
But for now… the sticky challenge.
I have now written over 600 words, my head is pounding and I need sleep.
The kitchen is a mess and I don’t care. I am going to go take care of myself and sleep.
And tomorrow – kick sugar out of my life.
My fire and drive are still there – and for that I’m grateful – because I CAN do this, I NEED to do this and I WILL do this.
I will change my life for me. For my kids. For my guy. For Mark, who didn’t change his life soon enough and was taken from us.
I will change my life because we’re all worth it.