- Tired as fuck.
- No energy to work out.
- Circular pattern of tired as fuck so you have no energy to work out to boost the energy.
- Pants get tight.
- Sugary crap starts to look (and taste) good.
- Hating yourself because you ate the sugary crap.
- Eating more sugary crap because you feel like crap and something’s gotta make you feel better right?
- Feeling guilty and hiding the wrappers of all the sugary crap because your husband loves you and worries and calls you out on your shit when you eat the crap after telling him you want to be skinny and fit.
- Feeling bloaty because of #5-7
- Irregular bowel movements (this is a problem!!!)
- Feeling bloaty because of #10.
- Hanger. All the time.
- Seriously unstable moods.
- Random anger flare ups.
- Random bursts of tears.
- Little in the way of joy.
- Lack of sex drive.
My life feels like it sucks right now. I haven’t been meal planning. I haven’t been exercising (damn you plantar faciitis!!) and I’ve made all sorts of excuses to eat a donut, drink coffee with cream and sugar, candy, chips, fudge (ooohhhh the fudge!) and generally lots of CRAP.
And I have like, NO sex drive.
None. Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
When I’m having sex (despite the lack of drive – I have this theory of use it or lose it entirely) I feel bloaty and gross. He lays on me and I struggle to breathe. Body parts hurt cuz fat and stiff joints.
My connection with my husband is suffering.
I come home from work… pass out on him. He tries to wake me up…and I’m too tired in the morning.
If I were to exercise, would it improve my sex drive?
I don’t actually know. But I DO know that since I’ve been NOT exercising, my mood has dipped. And I’m not having sex. That when I was exercising on a regular basis, I was having sex on a regular basis and I wasn’t an ANGRY TEARY ABOUT TO EXPLODE IN ANGER OR EMOTIONAL MELT DOWN person to live with. And really.. who actually wants to have sex with that person? I don’t.
Can you imagine? “Oh honey this feels so OMG I”M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW… no wait.. *bursts into tears* Ok lets keep going…”
Ok it’s not actually like that but some days in my head it feels like it.
So here’s my thought process. I need time to write – I haven’t been blogging.
And I need time to exercise. It’s gotta be a priority. Hubs has offered to work out with me and on Wednesday that will become a reality. Walks, some sort of weights, and fuck the plantar faciitis, I’m running again. (Ok maybe really just doing deep water running)
But I need to exercise. I need to see if it adjusts a few things.
Because I really want to want sex again. I like sex. I like sex with my husband. I just need that drive back.