273lbs

I haven’t seen that number in… I don’t know how long.

To be fair… I weighed myself at the end of the day, on the first day of my period.

To be fair… the number won’t change that much tomorrow before I eat anything stark nekkid.

But it’s a good wake up call of how far out I’ve come and how much I’ve relied on stress eating to get me through the past few weeks.

Eat all the food.

Eat all the bad food.

Eat all the good food (but too much!)

Drink all the alcohol.

I have the book “Whole 30” waiting for me at the local bookstore.  I have these excuses in my head… I can’t cut back on all things dairy. I can’t not eat this. I can’t not eat that.

I need a better program.

I need a simpler program.

I need a different program.

I don’t.

I have a program that works. I have proven it to myself. All I have to do is FOLLOW IT!

Say no to the chips, the candy, the extra helping, the dessert.

Say yes to more water, the greens, the tea instead of coffee.

And follow my program – which means getting involved in my online group, eating healthy and working out every day.

But just DO it.  DON’T look for excuses why it can’t… look for reasons it CAN happen.

I asked my man if it had been obvious I’d gained weight.  He said yes.  And the question in my head is… “Why did you keep indulging me and why didn’t you say anything?”

But the real question is why did I keep eating the way I was?

There were a lot of reasons – but mostly I was stress eating.

And now, the stress is still there, but I refuse to stress eat any longer.

I will talk. I will exercise. I will blog. I will play music. I will craft. I will clean.

But I will eat for fuel and sustenance for the next while – to allow my body to get back to where it needs to be.

I feel gross. I feel unhealthy. I don’t feel ready for derby season.

Here’s to a different choice… starting now.

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About sunnyjane

On a journey of fitness, health and healing. One blog focuses primarily on health & fitness (sunnyjane.wordpress.com) and the other is about my path through widowhood (widowspath.wordpress.com) Life is a Journey. I'm learning to enjoy the ride.
This entry was posted in Depression, Diet, Exercise, One Fit Widow, Roller Derby, Running, Self-esteem, Weight Loss and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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