‘Scuse my language.
But I’m stuck in a mind fuck right now.
I’ve never been one of those gain, lose, gain roller coaster, yo-yo dieters . I’ve gained weight. And stayed about that weight. Gained a bit more weight. Stayed about there. Then gained more.
And then I found 1FW.
And I followed the program.
And I lost weight.
A significant amount of weight.
I lost a good 40lbs.
And then…. my relationship fell apart, and I started stress eating again.
And I gained weight.
First time in my life… I’d lost weight and gained weight.
And it fucked with my mind. Seriously.
Suddenly I FEEL fat in a way I never had before.
I FEEL less strong, I FEEL less healthy, I FEEL less energetic.
It messes with your mind – seriously.
I’m trying to sort through it – and move past it, but I feel fat and unsexxy in a way I havent’ before. I’ve lost a LOT of mojo and for the first time, I get how someone could end up weighing 600lbs.
I want that feeling of energy back. I want that feeling of health back. I want the sexxy, confident woman back.
She’s in there. I know logically I am a brilliant, bold, confident woman who has a LOT to offer someone. But right now? I feel bloated and unsexxy and there’s a sense of “WHY” would anyone want to date me?
I’ll find her again. I just need to unfuck my mind.