I’m not stupid.
I know very well how to lose weight.
I know very well why I gain weight.
I know very well what the problem is.
But… you see… I’m good at disassociating.
Something hurts? Stick it in a box and ignore it until it’s shoving itself in my face.
Something needs to be paid? Don’t have the money? Put the bill aside and ignore the whole thing until they cut me off.
I do that very well.
So back to the weight gain.
I’m in school. I run on very little time.
I have days, like this morning, when I got up early to make good choices, then realized I’d forgotten to do an assignment so had to get it done during the time I was *supposed* to be working out/eating breakfast.
Which meant a run through McD’s drive through. It’s literally the only drive through option between home and school.
2 sausage McMuffin’s with ketchup, and a green tea.
And having not made it through my morning effectively, I had to run over to McD’s for a snack, as well.
1 cranberry orange muffin and a coffee, extra shot of espresso.
This is, sadly, a typical day.
Sadly… I sometimes get lunch at McD’s as well.
Then home. Dinner. Snacks.
Today, after feeling like utter CRAP all weekend…. I decided to … log my food.
All of it.
Every. Single. Bite.
We could say that not getting butter with the muffin was a good thing, but honestly, it probably wouldn’t have made any sort of difference.
You see… in the 3 items I ate today… That used up 3/4 of my calories for the day.
THREE. FREAKING. ITEMS.
I’m still hungry.
And there’s no calories left in my day.
But I’m hungry.
No wonder I gained 15 lbs.
And now… back to the beginning of weighing, logging, exercising and getting in my water.
Because.. I do NOT like being close to 270lbs. And I am. And it’s affecting more than just my clothing options. And I am done. done. done.
Yeah. McD’s is evil. And I need to be healthier than I am right now.
THAT’S why I gained… not because I ate there, but because I didn’t put myself first…and those little *cheats* add up.