Keeping Commitments

I should be sleeping right now.  I should be preparing for the 4.30am wake up call that will get my boyfriend to work on time, and me to Prince George way early.

Thank goodness for awesome commuter derby girl Lauren for agreeing to go for breakfast tomorrow morning 😉

But instead I’m up.

I am kinda running on a bit of a high.   Almost like the “after derby” high.

I’ve got a bit of a sweat going on and I’m feeling a sense of accomplishment.

See, my mood for the past week or so has been seriously unstable, despite the meds.

I attributed it to upcoming holidays, missing Mark, all that stuff.

That’s a big part of it, don’t get me wrong.  But another part of it – I’m not keeping my commitments to myself.

I want to wake up every morning to a clean kitchen.   The kitchen gets CLEANED every day – but not necessarily in the evening and sometimes I don’t get to SEE it clean.

But I keep wanting to wake up to a clean kitchen.

And I’d get resentful because *others* weren’t making that happen.

Ummm.  They don’t care.   I do.   So aside from making sure that the children do their chores – the only thing I *can* do to keep that commitment to myself – is to clean it myself.

Tonight I did.

I’ve been wanting to clean the bathroom for a few days – I just haven’t *found* the time.

Tonight I made time because it’s important to ME.

Those were two commitments I needed to keep for me tonight.

How does this translate into my fitness and health blog?  Very simple.  I have started slipping. I have not eaten healthy.  I have sabotaged myself (as I wrote about earlier today).  I have not been exercising.

I have not been keeping the commitment to myself to get and stay healthy.

I didn’t exercise tonight – partly because I needed to get things cleaned – but also because I didn’t want to fatigue muscles that I’ll need tomorrow afternoon.

Each day, I’m going to start my morning with three things.   Commitments to myself that I will keep – because I’m worth it.

Tonight was about getting those two areas of my house cleaned – and there will be days when that is the priority.   Tomorrow – it’s about eating clean, doing my best and passing the test – but not beating myself up if I don’t.

I read a long time ago (and I think that I blogged about it as well) that I need to keep my promises to myself.  Those are the most important – because if I can keep those, and keep my integrity around those – I’ll be more trustworthy in all areas of my life.

I promise to myself that I will get up at 4.30am, make lunch for the man, pack myself a healthy lunch and make a good choice for my breakfast tomorrow.

I will go into my test as strong as possible.

Choices

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About sunnyjane

On a journey of fitness, health and healing. One blog focuses primarily on health & fitness (sunnyjane.wordpress.com) and the other is about my path through widowhood (widowspath.wordpress.com) Life is a Journey. I'm learning to enjoy the ride.
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