There’s this thread in the back of my thought processes that tells me… “This is temporary, once you lose the weight – you’ll be able to go back to eating whatever you want”
That’s seriously fucked up.
Do you know what will happen if I continue thinking that way?
I’ll get fat again. IF I get skinny.
This isn’t about being able to eat whatever I want – although it’s nice to be able to have a treat once in a while – it’s about making healthy choices.
I *can* eat the chocolate at work.
I *can* eat the girl guide cookies.
I *can* eat A&W burgers.
I *can* eat a 12 oz steak with fries and hollandaise sauce.
I have that choice at any moment.
I don’t WANT TO.
Whenever I slip and eat those things – I feel gross. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I wish I hadn’t.
There’s a direct correlation between what I eat and how I feel. I KNOW this.
But the part of my brain that is 2 and stomping her feet and having a temper tantrum wants the damn chocolate.
She wants the wine.
She wants the burger.
She also wants the princess life she led before her husband got sick…. but he was one in a million and that lifestyle got her very fat.
I went back to the beginning of this blog – my weight was 278.2.
Last weigh in my weight was 238.5.
Since January 2011 – I have lost 40lbs. 22lbs of that has been in the past 3 months – since I started onefitwidow.com.
I lost more weight changing how I eat in the past 3 months than I did in the prior 2 1/2 years.
And I feel better.
And I’m healthier.
This isn’t a temporary fix. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s looking at life differently. Looking at food differently. Looking at how I spend my time differently.
It’s changing my thinking because the thinking I did before got me to 278.2lbs and I don’t EVER want to go there again.