Long Silences

I was looking at my blog and realized its been a couple weeks since I’ve blogged.   A couple WEEKS!!!  HOLY!!  I love writing… its cathartic… it makes me feel better… maybe that’s why I’ve been so out of sorts?  Not having written anything for weeks?

I’ve been doing good.  I joined up with onefitwidow.com…and this week she posed a challenge… follow 100% compliant for a week. There’s a prize at the end, but for me, its the being able to follow and be compliant.

If I cheat, I’m not cheating the program, I’m not cheating on the woman who designed my program, I’m cheating myself.

The bites of pastry, the chocolate, the lattes and coffees with lots of sugar?  Those don’t affect anyone but… ME.

If I have a night where I binge out on chips and pop, I’m not cheating anyone but ME.

For the first 3 weeks, when I was supposed to be cleaning my cupboards out, and I was supposed to be starting this new way of life… I was… half-assing it.  I’d go for the morning, but afternoon would hit and I’d have an apple raisin cinnamon scone with butter and jam along with a vanilla latte.

Or someone would be having a birthday and there’d be cake.  Glorious, creamy, chocolately goodness of cake.   And I’d eat… 2 or 3 pieces over the course of a few days.

Or it would be staff meeting time, we’d order a pizza and I would have 3 or 4 pieces.

Or I’d feel that I had a hard day and I deserved a treat.

Or.  Or. Or.

Or nothing.

Cheating is easier.  Buying from the coffee shop is easier.  Ordering pizza is easier.

It takes work to plan ahead and buy healthy foods and prepare healthy meals.  The food industry has done a bang up job of making life easier with processed junk they call food.

For the past 2 days, I’ve been 100% compliant.  Even going so far as to skip my coffee because I don’t have half and half – only chemical laden coffee creamer – and I don’t have coconut sugar – only processed white sugar.

I’m going to do this.  I’m going to get healthy.  I’m going to get fit.  I’m going to live a long healthy life.

I’m not cheating myself anymore – and I will continue to write – because writing keeps me accountable – and it keeps me sane.

Uncomfortable

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About sunnyjane

On a journey of fitness, health and healing. One blog focuses primarily on health & fitness (sunnyjane.wordpress.com) and the other is about my path through widowhood (widowspath.wordpress.com) Life is a Journey. I'm learning to enjoy the ride.
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