Here’s the thing about my perfectionism: if I can’t do it right, if I don’t look good doing it, if I’m not going to be FABULOUS at it – I don’t want to do it.
Which is why I’m surprised I’ve stuck with derby so very long. I’m not good – yet. I’m not awesome – yet. I will be – but I’m not, yet.
I talk myself out of a lot of things with the “I’m not going to be any good at it” speech.
Usually it involves talking myself out of a workout, because I won’t work out as hard or as long as I want to. I don’t have the time, I don’t have the endurance, blah blah effin blah.
Last night I had a bit of a talk with myself. I wish I could give credit, but I read so much – that I don’t remember where I read it last night. It doesn’t matter I suppose – because the sentiment is the same.
How you talk to yourself is what you believe.
Henry Ford said “If you think you can or you can’t – you’re right” (or something along those lines LOL)
Maybe it was one of the Jillian Michaels books I have. I think it was Winning at Losing – if that was where I read it.
Anyhow. My usual bedtime conversation goes something like this:
“I’m going to get up in the morning and work out”
“Really, I am”
“Ok, I’m going to try”
“I’ll probably be really tired”
“Sleep is just as important for weight loss as exercise” (note: if I could lose weight by sleeping, I’d be anorexic by now)|
“I’ll probably need to sleep in”
“But I really want to get up”
“No worries, if it doesn’t happen in the morning, you can work out in the evening” (I never do)
And then I go to bed…and … I sleep in.
Last night though…
“Jane – you are getting up with the alarm”
“You can exercise”
“You’re worth the exercise”
“You’re going to keep your promise to yourself”
“You enjoy how you feel after your workout”
“You’re getting up”
No hidden thoughts of “nahhhh I’ll just sleep in”
And guess what?
I woke up, I did my weight and measurements, I picked a 16 minute workout, and I didn’t sit on my butt playing on the internet.
I kept my promise to myself.
Another conversation that has happened either at night or in the morning involves “Hey you didn’t prepare – no worries, take the time to prepare tonight and do it tomorrow. There’s not enough time to pick a workout AND workout”
That, my friends, is the biggest line of bat guano I like to feed myself EVER.
I woke up at 6am this morning.
Weighed and measured myself.
Spent 10 minutes looking for a workout.
Made coffee so it would be ready by the end of my workout
Did 1/2 of said workout. (more about that in a minute)
Blogged about it. (It’s now 6.49am)
The point is, I did it. Without a plan, without a program, I did it. I worked out.
I KEPT MY PROMISE TO MYSELF
So about that 1/2 work out.
I haven’t done anything physical (aside from a 20 minute walk last night) in 2 weeks. I’m pretty sure sex doesn’t count.
The workout I chose was a 16 minute tabata/HIIT style workout. 2 rounds of 7 exercises with a minute rest in between.
I did 8 minutes. I went one round instead of two. I am happy with that as a starting point and an unprepared morning. Because I fucking kept my promise to myself!
Happy Day – perfectionism will not rule me anymore.