For me, motivation happens because other people are relying on me. Because other people are waiting for me.
For me, I am not my own best motivator – even though I love how I feel after.
Last night, I went out. The intent was to go out around 6.30, come back between 10 & 11pm.
My ride was having fun, so at 11.30 I made my way over to the casino, played slots for 1/2 hour and then took the shuttle home. I was home, and in bed by 12.30.
And then my kid. OMG I could kill my kid. He plays violent video games (which are about to be limited again – its a push pull thing with him) and then he has nightmares.
Last night’s nightmares were particularly spectacular. Last night involved walking into my bedroom, turning on lights, turning off lights, going into his brother’s room, turning on lights, turning off lights, waking his brother up, his brother coming and waking me up, and a shriek when my alarm went off this morning.
And the dog decided middle of the night barking was in order.
Overall – I did NOT have a very restful 6 hours of sleep. I was wiped. In fact, when the alarm went off – I hit snooze. And then hit snooze again – and mentally did the math…and realized that *I* would be still sleeping when people walked in my door and I needed coffee.
I got up. I fucking go up. In my head I’m making all sorts of excuses, I’m telling them to go without me with promises of running later, that I’ll happily do yoga.
And they get here, and I get up and go outside.
Did I mention it’s cold outside? It is. By the time we got BACK from the run it was 1c. (That’s 33.8 for you who understand Farenheit)
But I ran. And because my running buddy had limited time, the run was harder – pushed me more. She gave me a 5 minute warm up, then we ran for a minute, rested for a minute, ran for a minute, rested for a minute, ran TWO minutes, rested a minute… she pushed me.
I loved it. (most of the time)
I can feel myself getting stronger – it’s not about the scale any more. My clothes are getting looser, I can run farther, I push myself harder, I can do more.
For me – that’s more important than what the scale says.
I’m still going to track what the scale says – but the number on the scale has less impact on me than it did before.
What does it matter what it says if I can run 20 minutes?
What does it matter what it says if I have to get rid of 3 of my pairs of work pants because they’re too loose?
It doesn’t. What matters is how my life changes. How I feel. How much more I can do.
And I can do more. Harder, faster, better. It’s not about the destination – its about the journey – and I think I’m finally learning that.
Oh and after my run? 1 minute plank!! 🙂 I love what my body can do 🙂