There is about 2 1/2 hours until I need to leave my house for roller derby tonight. I plan on going to both the beginner and intermediate practices – I need the time on skates and to get my body back in the shape it was in before my concussion.
But I am my own worst enemy.
I sabotage myself, frequently. And then I beat myself up over it.
Tonight’s sabotage? The justifications in my head as to why I shouldn’t go to roller derby tonight:
1. Michelle isn’t coming with me. She’s not sure what time she’s going to be there.
2. My kids need me.
3. I have things to be cleaned up
4. It’s an anniversary of two different events – I need to celebrate/mourn them.
5. I’m not all that good anyhow, so really, why try?
6. I need sleep.
None of those are good reasons.
1. Who cares if Michelle isn’t coming? The company is nice – but I do derby for ME.
2. My kids need the routine and to know its ok for Mom to do things outside the house.
3. There’s always something to clean up. And I wouldn’t clean anyhow – I’d probably sit on my computer or read a book or watch TV.
4. It’s the anniversary of two different events. I can celebrate/mourn them by living life.
5. I will only get better if I try and practice and push myself.
6. I’ll sleep better after I’ve exercised.
I’m a little concerned about my cardio. I seem to have trouble with simple things like going up stairs. I don’t like being out of breath all the time – but the only way to get the cardio back, is to exercise.
I am my own worst enemy. I am also my greatest supporter, biggest fan, and best motivator.
It’s a matter of perspective and choice.