Trying to Find Energy

So I’ve noticed a pattern:

I wake up, I have energy, I have drive, I have a clear mental focus.

I plan, I do stuff, I look forward to the day.

Then, somewhere around 2pm… it’s gone.  I have no energy. I have no drive.  I am foggy and sad and lonely and want to curl up in my bed and cry.

It’s gone.

It usually gets worse as the day goes by.

I don’t want this to be my routine.  I’m thinking that until my body resets and is consistently level – that I need to plan some midday activity.   I need to plan to swim or do yoga or go for a walk or a bike ride or do SOMETHING… to see if it helps with the energy/depression levels.

Because at 3pm, I don’t even want to go get dressed.  I don’t want to think about dinner, I haven’t fed my kids lunch (they’re old enough to make themselves sandwiches), and all I want to do is go curl up in bed and sleep.

Over analyzing – is this depression or grief or just allowing myself to maintain crappy patterns?  How do I know if its a genuine need or something I can shake myself out of?

My plan… is to, at some point today, do yoga.  I have time in my day – so the plan will be to do the 30 days of Blissology yoga, and go to my derby practices and take my kids out for one family-oriented activity – bike ride, swimming or skating.   That’s it.  Those three things I will force myself to do.    I will enrol and engage and if I’m still finding I have an afternoon/evening slump of depression – I know I need to talk to my doctor sooner rather than later.

I need to have routine in my life.

Yeah, yeah… I’ve been talking about this for a long time.

But I need it now, more than ever.  I need it to help prevent me from getting lost in grief.

So.  Today, yoga.   Tomorrow, bike ride with kids (if weather allows) and yoga.

OH! tonight I could so do some kinect games with the boys.  That’s active, family oriented and fun 😀

Got plans.  Will work out a routine later.  But I have to do this – there’s no one else but me.

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About sunnyjane

On a journey of fitness, health and healing. One blog focuses primarily on health & fitness (sunnyjane.wordpress.com) and the other is about my path through widowhood (widowspath.wordpress.com) Life is a Journey. I'm learning to enjoy the ride.
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