There was a song I grew up listening too from Kenny Rogers… The chorus talks about knowing when to stop, knowing when to walk away.
Sometimes I don’t know when to stop or when to say “enough”
Sometimes I have warring pressures in my head… the one that says “Stay, you’re letting people down, you’re a failure, you could push yourself harder, you could do it, you should just keep GOING” And the other that says “Ummm dumbass, if you don’t stop, you will hurt yourself MORE and you won’t be able to do anything later”
One says take care of myself, the other says push myself.
Both are very important pressures in my life. I need the one that says to push myself. I need to listen to that. I also need to listen to the one that says to take care of me because NO ONE ELSE WILL.
No one else will say “hey – you look like you’re in pain – stop skating”
No one else will say “hey – I can tell you’re over doing it – go rest”
No one else will. Only I will. And I need to give myself permission to say “IT HURTS. ITs time to STOP.” and go home and sit on my couch and try not to feel like I’ve failed.
I’m taking care of myself. I refuse to feel guilty about it. Even though internally, I am having an argument about it.
It’ll be ok.