I had a couple things smack me in the face today.
I read this blog, and the idea of the Eckhart Tolle quote at the beginning of it, really got me – and the whole rest of the blog just resonated. I am not alone. I feel alone much of the time, but I am not alone. There are others going through what I am going through – I see them every day at the hospital. To a lessor degree, there’s the family and friends who love Mark. They’re all going through this as well.
Then there was the message at the D.A.R.E. graduation today about life. I wish I’d thought to catch it on video – and I might look into finding out what was on that slide show… the messages about life were amazing and oh so needed to be heard.
And a conversation I had with my good friend Adriana. I’ve actually had the same conversation with her on a number of occasions, but the most recent one was specifically about me, not a general type conversation (although generalities came into it as well). The topic of the conversation?
It seems pretty simple doesn’t it? You do what’s important to you. You show up at what matters. You’re there for those things you want to put your energy towards.
If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.
I am constantly questioning my reasons. My motives.
Is this important to me? Or do I just think it SHOULD be important to me?
On a side note, there was a time when I did not like avacados. I thought I should. It seemed reasonable to. After all, a lot of people I liked and admired liked avacados. They were easy to eat and find fruit, good for you, and so I *should* like them, right?
So I ate them, despite the fact that I didn’t *really* like them. I ate them, I bought them, I continued to make myself eat them, thinking that I should like them.
I love them now. I don’t remember how long my campaign was, but the end result was, I like avacados. They are a regular part of my diet because I enjoy them… not because I thought I should like them.
So that sad strange little tale has two things I can learn from it.
1. If its important to me, I will find/make a way. I will persist until what’s important to me is reality.
2. I CAN persist. I CAN make something happen. I CAN have success.
Yes, the avacado story is real. I genuinely did not like them, and forced myself to like them. And I’m happier for having done so.
So the things that smacked me in the face? I’ve been making excuses.
Don’t get me wrong. My depression is VERY real. How it affects me is VERY real. There are times when I can’t control the crying, when I have no energy, when the dispair is overwhelming.
And then there’s the times when its an excuse.
I can’t. I’m depressed. I’m sad. I’m tired.
It’s an easy excuse. And allowing myself to use it only hurts me and pushes people away.
I’m done making excuses. I’m done making them to you, to me, to my kids.
If the depression is really holding me back, I’ll accept that for what it is. But if my head is making excuses, I refuse to let that happen.
With that in mind – I went back to my favourite quick and easy workout. (not really easy, but quick :P)
Turns out they’re doing a 30 day challenge for May. I was going back to find the January challenge, but this is better. This is what I need, what I want, what I’m going to do.
I can spend 20 minutes a day doing anything. I certainly can do this. AND they’ve added some flexibility stuff into it.
30 days. 5 days a week. Roller derby 2 days a week. Clean eating. Lots of water.
It seems reasonable.
I need a success. I need to show myself that I CAN do it. I did with the avacado. I can do it with this, too.
Why don’t you join me? Reply to this post, follow me, and if you dare, put a link to your blog in reply so I can follow you.
I’m going to do a daily post of what my times/reps were – however they set the challenge up. The fit test is # of reps in a set time. I’ll post my scores tomorrow morning.
No matter what, I have that time each day. I’m worth it. So are you.
It’s only 30 days. Its only 20 minutes a day.
No more excuses.