Larger than Life.
These are words that have been used to describe me lately. I keep trying them on for size, but they don’t seem to fit right. One is a little tight, another is too loose, others are too long, too short, and really? do you really think THAT fits me???
Its like clothes. Nothing fits right off the rack. Not unless you’re in the 5% of people who have the *perfect* body shape. Equally proportioned, all the curves in the right spots. I’m not one of those. Some clothes are too small in the waist, too big around the hips, too long, too short.
And just like clothes, I have to tailor those words to fit me appropriately.
I don’t see myself as strong. Or brave. Or inspirational. CERTAINLY not larger than life. (Yes, someone really described me like that. Too my face.)
I grew up with a woman like that. Larger than life. The life of the party. Strong. Strong willed. Determined.
And I sat on the side.
I learned to listen. I learned to watch. I learned to wait. I learned to stay small. Stay hidden. Stay out of the way.
So that’s how I see myself. Small. Wallflower. Unnoticed and unnoticeable.
Apparently that’s not how others see me.
I’d like to take those words and make them fit me. Clearly, if others are seeing them in me, I’m already wearing them, to a degree. But I’d like to feel like they belong; I’d like to be comfortable in them.
Its a matter of perception. Its the perception that determines how far one will go, how hard one will work, and what heights one will attain.
If I perceive myself as being small, of not achieving, I will stay small, and not achieve.
If I perceive myself as being larger than life, of having confidence and strength… I will go far.
There’s a saying by Brian Littrell: