Yeah, I know. I really have.
You’d think that it wouldn’t be something I enjoyed. Lets look at a few things:
1. My feet hurt when I skate. They get numb, I get a sharp pain at the ball of my right foot, and my calves scream at me.
2. I am the slowest out there (for now) and have trouble keeping up (for now).
3. Falling hurts. And I’m scared to fall. And I have a tendency to fall if I take chances. Mostly I’m scared to fall and put myself out of commission.
4. Every practice I show up at, I go through a momentary “I’m not good enough to be here” “I’m just the fat kid they let play because they are so nice”
5. My endurance levels suck, and I have to stop before and more often than anyone else.
Based on those reasons…. I have no reason to like roller derby.
But I do. I love it. Lets look at a few things:
1. Yeah my feet and back and body hurts, but it hurts less or I can go further without pain each practice. I’m getting STRONGER
2. Yeah, I’m the slowest. But each practice, I push myself further and I’m getting FASTER.
3. Yeah, falling hurts. But I fall less and each time I fall, I’m learning new things. I’m getting BETTER.
4. Yeah, I have some self worth issues. But each time I show up, I find people who are encouraging and supportive and sound like they genuinely want me there.
5. Yeah, my endurance levels don’t allow me to skate the entire 2 hours without having to stop. I stop more than other people. But I stop less than I did when I started playing. I keep getting BETTER and STRONGER and FASTER.
Derby is the only thing I’ve ever stuck with. Its the only sport I’ve put this much effort into. Its the only thing I’ve ever been consistent with.
So despite all the reasons why I *shouldn’t* love derby, I do. And the main reason I love it is because it shows me that I AM strong, I AM good enough and I CAN do it.
Derby rocks… and the people in roller derby are AMAZING!