Its been 10 days since I last blogged. In all honesty, while I had stuff to say, it wasn’t good.
“Had a crappy sleep, ate worse”
“Didn’t exercise today (what else is new)”
“Mmmmm chips… Mmmmm pop”
So, really, what was there to write? I do write when I’m struggling but I wasn’t *struggling* so much as I was … apathetic.
In the last 10 days I’ve exercised once (roller derby practice), eaten a lot of crap food, eaten too much incredible food, and didn’t drink much water. OH! And I got way less sleep than normal.
So rather than saying I fell off the wagon, lets say instead that I was conducting an experiment in how reverting to my bad habits affects me over time.
The results are in:
1. I’m exhausted. Can barely keep awake. Good thing I don’t have a lot of stuff to do today – although I might potentially be in an E&O situation if I give someone wrong advice.
2. I have less cardio function. Sounds funny putting it that way, but the reality is, explosive movements leave me breathless. I had been moving past that with healthy eating and better exercise.
3. I’ve gained weight. To be expected given the amount of food I consumed and the shortage of exercise I performed, but still not a happy place.
4. As a result of <3>, my bad knee hurts slightly more than usual when walking.
5. I’m short tempered and short on patience. When you feel as crappy as I do, its a lot of WORK to stay nice and pleasant. Given <1>, I’m not surprised that snarky remarks come out. What’s that saying? “Women don’t sweat or fart or burp. Therefore we must bitch or we will explode” So far I haven’t exploded…. :p
Knowing what I know about my little experiment… I now have a choice to make:
1. Continue to be apathetic and feel like a blob or
2. Revert back to healthy eating and exercise.
I think I’ll go with <2>. It just makes sense. After all – when I eat healthy, and exercise, I FEEL GOOD!!!
I think I had set some goals a post or two back and those are still valid. I don’t remember them off the top of my head and I’m just not cognizant enough to A: go back and look them up or B: WANT to go back and look them up (I’m exhausted, remember?)
So here’s my goals in a nutshell:
By January 16 (slightly less than 2 months) I will weigh 245lbs.
By mid-February, I will pass my basic skillz testing for roller derby, dammit! Secondary to that is I want to weigh 239 by the time I do.
These are not unreasonable goals, people. I can do this. I need to stop giving myself permission to be apathetic. I will not start *tomorrow* – tomorrow never comes. I will start TODAY! NOW! Enough with the “I’ll do it later” crap – IT NEVER GETS DONE!!! (and then there’s bigger mess to deal with!!)
Hold me accountable. Help me reach my goals.