Last night at the gym, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, at a speed of 3.0.
That doesn’t sound like a huge feat… something the average person “should” be able to do, right?
Consider that last week, I struggled with 20 minutes at 2.5.
It is somewhat humbling to announce to the world exactly how out of shape I am. It occurs to me, that my one time personal trainer is on my facebook friends list, and he *might* be reading this. When he left here just under a year ago – I bragged with big plans, big changes – and nothing changed.
But I’m now making progress.
In the last 2 weeks, between Derby and a regular schedule of gym time, my squats are deeper, my lunges are more solid, and I can do 30 minutes at 3.0 and I wanted to go FASTER.
The stiffness and soreness in my legs and body is minimal this morning; yesterday I was struggling.
I mentioned a couple posts ago about being gentle on myself. The worst word in the world is “SHOULD”
I SHOULD be skinnier by now.
I SHOULD weigh less by now.
I SHOULD never have gotten this heavy.
I SHOULD be better faster stronger.
Should says that I’m not ok. Should says that I’m not good enough.
I AM getting healthier.
I AM this heavy but working on it – because *I* want to.
I AM better faster stronger than I was last week.
SHOULD is a word that I won’t use on myself – nor will I buy into other’s use of it.
The only SHOULD that applies:
I SHOULD be the best I possibly can be at this moment. If that means sitting on the couch because my knee hurts too much to go to the gym, then I am exactly how I should be. If that means having the energy to do the gym, help someone clean an office and STILL be a wanton wife… then that’s where I should be.
But I AM the best I can be today. And I AM making progress. I’ll never be perfect.