I don’t expect to do well.
The definition of insanity is: “Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results”
A big part of my eating is emotional. I eat when I’m happy, I eat when I’m mad, I eat when I’m sad, I eat when the mood strikes me.
4 weeks ago, I discovered I failed a course I had been taking. I tried to ignore the fact that I had failed, but it ate at me. I had never failed a course before – especially one I thought I knew most of the information, and when I was walking into the final with 80%. And then I failed.
I stopped trying. I stopped being motivated, stopped looking for motivation, I just… stopped. I would have momentary bursts of clarity, where I would blog something inspiring and meaningful, and then the rest of my day would be back to the insanity of eating and exercising in a way that got me to *this* point.
So I don’t expect that I’ve lost much – but I’ll be grateful if I’ve maintained the little I did lose.
On another board I frequent, someone asked… when do you stop trying?
My answer was that you stop trying when the pain of trying exceeds the pain of not trying. It works the other way, too. The pain of not trying, not studying, not exercising, not watching what I eat must exceed the pain of coasting along in order for change to be made.
To put it in simpler terms: It must hurt MORE to not change than it does to change in order for change to be effected.
When I get home, I’ll post the final weigh in… as of this morning, my weight, on my scale, is 270.5. Based on the number I wrote on my bathroom wall, I have lost 4.5lbs since Jan 3, 2011. This is a victory. This is not failure, because I didn’t meet my goal of 20lbs by today. It is a victory, because I’m still moving forward, I’m still trying, and I have lost 4.5lbs.
Now – next goal – to get below 265lbs.