Picking myself up again.

They say if you fall off a horse, get up and go riding again.  If you don’t, the fear of falling will keep you from ever riding again.

Right now is one of those moments where I don’t want to get back on the damned horse.   It keeps bucking me off.

Proper derby stance hurts like a mofo.  My back seizes, my thighs seize and if I do it for very long, I’m extremely shaky.

Skating while NOT in derby stance hurts worse because I fall.   I fall on my side, I fall and twist my ankle, I fall flat on my back and hit my head hard enough to see double.

I hurt myself enough in the hour of street skating that I did that I wonder… WTF am I pushing myself for?

I could tell my partner in skating was getting frustrated with me.  I keep having to stop and rest.  It messes with her getting a good workout.  I understand that.  And then I fell and was done.   Not the enjoyable skate she wanted, I’m sure.  It wasn’t what I wanted either :(

I’m going to go sit in my hottub for a while and hope that it washes away not only the aches from the falls, but the frustration and discouragement I feel.

Right now – I’m having trouble seeing the point.

Logically – I know.  Emotionally though… different story.

About sunnyjane

On a journey of fitness, health and healing. One blog focuses primarily on health & fitness (sunnyjane.wordpress.com) and the other is about my path through widowhood (widowspath.wordpress.com) Life is a Journey. I'm learning to enjoy the ride.
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One Response to Picking myself up again.

  1. Sarah says:

    Do as much as you can and then push yourself just a little further. It will come with time. This isn’t an overnight type thing. I think you’re doing awesome!

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